My Name is Harry
by lemongelo
Summary: A look into Harry's desires, faults, and darkest moments. Rated PG for subtle suicidal thoughts and depression. Do not read if you prefer a happy ending. R&R is appreciated.


**Disclaimer**: If Harry potter were mine he would live in a world of happiness, Sirius would be alive, along with the Potters. But, unfortunately, Harry is not mine, so he's doomed to misery. Sorry Harry, I tried. Oh and JK? If, in some odd circumstance you do read this, take it to heart and get Harry a puppy.

**A/N**: I wrote this for myself. You may read it if you like. It's short, sweet- No, not sweet. Well its short and to the point. I didn't have it beta-ed, I wanted it just as it was, strait from my, and Harry's minds. It's dark, angsty, depressing. I happen to like it that way. If you're in favor of happy Harrys I advise you backtrack and find something else. If you like it and enough people review I may continue and write some other HP character's thoughts on the faults of their lives.

My name is Harry Potter. You don't know me. I'm afraid no one truly does. They've read about me of course, in books and articles, but do they truly know me? No. So here I will tell you who I am. I don't expect you to understand, comfort, or fix my problems. I learned long ago not to expect things of people.

No matter where I go people know me. I am famous. Do you know what I'm famous for? I'm famous for living while my parents died. How do you think that makes me feel? People think it would be grand to be me. Be me? I pray no one else will ever have to be me. Live without parents, have your life planned out, live in a loveless home, and see what I've seen. The life of Harry Potter is not luxury and interviews.

          I spent my life dreaming about family; Being that I never had one. As a child I dreamt of being whisked away by my parents, to a world where I was loved. It never happened. At Hogwarts I met Ron, he, unlike me, has not only his parents, but also five brothers and a sister. I envy him. He doesn't realize the importance of what he has. He only focuses on out shining them. Ron says he is starved for attention, when he doesn't realize he is drowning in love. I would trade him any day.

          And my life, my propose, my sole reason to live is to either kill my or be killed. That's right. Before I was even born my life was planned out by some prophecy. So in the end I've either got to kill the man life decided to make my mortal enemy, or have him kill me. Oh and did I mention that I am the only one with the power to kill him where as I could die by any means possible. Isn't it grand to know one day you've got to become a murderer in order to save the world?

          Have I told you yet that no one bothered to tell me my fate? It was hidden from me until I was 'old enough to understand'. At least it gave me a few years of innocence. I'm supposed to save the world one day yet I'm treated like a child. No one will tell me what is happening in this war that wages on. Funny how they fight that silly war, when the only one that can stop it is me. Yes, in the end it all comes down to me.

          I admit I almost had a family once. His name was Sirius; he was my godfather. You ask why I speak of him in pass tense? I walked blindly into a trap, which caused his death. I caused his death. I thought I was saving him where really it resulted in the opposite. I barely got to know him, so much for that.

          I suppose I still have family in a sense. I have the Weasleys, and Hermione, and Remus. But they just don't get it. I haven't told them about the prophecy, they just wouldn't understand. It's funny really. Here I am, surrounded by these people who claim to love me, yet they barely know me. I guess I never will know what a true family is.

When I was eleven I looked into a mirror. It showed me the family I never knew. Later I learned that was my heart's deepest desire. Now I realize that my deepest desire is to be normal. My family represented that. It would be nice to have a normal life. To simply be scared of the death eaters like everyone else. To have my mum tell me everything will be all right when they attack. But instead the world is in my hands and no ones there to make it better.

          I've decided I've run out of things to live for. Ron, Hermione, and the rest will forget about me in time. I'll only be a lecture in a history book. It is my obligation to defeat Voldemort though. So I will. If he kills me before I've fulfilled my duty then so be it. I was planning to die afterwards anyway. 

          My name is Harry Potter. All I ever wanted was to be normal. Unfortunately, that will never happen. So I bid you farewell.

**A/N**: Review if you liked it. If I get a good amount of people who do I'm going to do some other characters. Next will probably be either Draco or Ron. Tell me what you thought. I'd appreciate it, even if its a flame. 


End file.
